The Walking Dead app

Have you seen the show ‘The Walking Dead’ yet?

Well, personally I don’t think it’s that funny.  I mean it shows all of my friends being killed (again) by these pathetic people attempting to avoid the unavoidable.  Luckily a few are turned into fellow zombies by my friends as well.  Sometimes we get to chow down on a nice plump one (buffet), but that’s getting off the subject.

And, now there is an app you can get in iTunes based on the show.  It shows you how to shoot zombies.  That really ticks me off!

I am officially asking all my followers to boycott the show, the game, and the app.  All my fellow zombies agree that it doesn’t present us in a favorable light and even though we are slowly winning the war, it gives people hope.  That can be very dangerous.

The end is inevitable.  People should just lay down and prepare to become lunch (or dinner).  It would save us all so much time and trouble.

Zombies like pets, too!

Zombie Tyler, here again.

Winter is coming and that means that people will be staying inside more.  I really hate that.  It cuts down on my food supply.

Sometimes when I get a little hungry and depressed I can find a stray cat or dog to chew on.  It’s not that bad.  Tastes like chicken.

So, finally, my EX-friend, Mr. Security, has a product I can agree with.  It’s this pet blinker thingy that you attach to your pet’s collar.  I like it because my vision isn’t so good at night anymore since I have only one good eye left.

Well, anyway, when people attach these blinking lights to their dog’s or cat’s collar it is supposed to make it easier for cars to see them at night.  It blinks on and off in a bunch of different colors and looks really cool.

Ok, so there are pros and cons to this.  When the cars can’t see your pet and run them over it makes it easier for me to grab a quick snack on some roadkill or even a distraught motorist!!!  Bonus points for me.  The con is that these blinking lights make it easier for cars to avoid hitting your pet, but they also make it easier for me to see them at night.  That makes hunting a little better with my one good eye.  Pros and cons all around.  In the end, if everybody had one of these pet blinkers on their dog or cat it wouldn’t wreck my day.  Now, if all the owners had one on when they were out at night, that would really do it for me.

So, here is my advice…buy two of these thingys, one for you and one for your dog.  It will keep you from getting hit by cars.  Spend a lot of time walking your pet at night, especially when its really dark.

Hey, I’m just saying…do a hungry zombie a favor.

He needs to stop!

Who the heck does my ex-friend, Survivor Sam, think he is?

Now he’s telling everyone about Mr. Security’s safety products.

I’m really getting upset.

I mean if he keeps this up, everyone will be prepared for the rising zombie apocalypse.

They will all have hidden cameras, door alarms, and zombie repellent.

When I catch Sam, he’s gonna pay!!!!

And, If I can get my one good hand on that Mr. Security guy, I’m gonna bite his leg off.

The last thing I need is for every woman out there to carry one of those wicked cool Hot Pink TASERS.

Those things really mess with what’s left of my brain.

I hate Sam!

Check out this site…

I have this friend, Survivor Sam, (well he used to be a friend and neighbor until I got bitten by my girlfriend).

He really ticks me off, because he’s faster than me and I can’t catch him to eat his brain.

He posts all sorts of good information for ‘not-quite-zombie’ types like you on his new website.

Check it out – ICanSurviveAnything.com.

He also has a blog, which really irritates me – Survivor Sam Blog.

If he doesn’t stop all the ‘goodie-two-shoes’ educational crap, I won’t have anyone to eat.

If you happen to see him, tackle him, tie him and wait for me to get there.

Deal?

~Zombie Tyler

Welcome to my blog

Hi,

I’m Tyler the Zombie.

I’m an expert on all things zombie.

I would love to hear about how you are doing avoiding becoming a zombie.

Please tell me something about yourself.