Be a Zombie

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How would you like to become a zombie like me?

Check out my before and after photos.

As you can obviously see, I was once a living, breathing human (and, quite handsome I do say) just like you, until one day when I was bitten by another zombie.  That’s a story for another post.

You can be a zombie, too.

There are two ways:

1. You can give me your address and a I will come over and chew on your arm, leg, face, or whatever looks tasty.

2. Or, you can send me your photo (headshot only) and I will turn it into a professional zombie photo for you.

My services aren’t free, though.  Even zombies have to make a living somehow.  Since they won’t let me work at Wal-Mart, I have to survive on internet sales.  (Discrimination lawsuit is pending)

For just $20 I will:

  • turn your photo into a zombie headshot
  • send you the file in high quality format

For another $10 I will write a short zombie story about you and include you as one of my friends in the blog.

Here’s how it works:

Purchase your items securely through Paypal by using the link below:

ZOMBIE HEADSHOT ONLY – $20

ZOMBIE HEADSHOT AND STORY – $30

When your payment is received, I will send you a link to submit your photo.

Please make sure that you make your payment using the email address you want me to send the link to (like DUH!).

Welcome to my zombie family and thank you for your support,

Tyler

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Zombie Tip of the Day: Turn up the Music

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I’m surprised I haven’t seen other tips like this. In the episode of the Walking Dead in Season 1 where they are in that traffic jam on the highway, they turn on a car and the emergency broadcast starts playing. If that broadcast is still going, then the tower and station would still have power, most likely renewable. If they could find where this tower and station was then they can set up base there and tap into it’s power or whatever is powering it like a dam, or windmill, or whatever. No need to huddle around candles in a small house in the harsh winter while they could be relaxing in a station with central heating or A/C and send signals to other people, telling them it’s safe where they are. So long to the dark ages and hello to electricity.

Zombie Tip of the day: Be Fit or Be Bit

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Paul is a great example of this tip. He wasn’t a very athletic person so he lacked the stamina and speed to get away fast enough. He was barely going faster than his pursuers and was made a delicacy very quickly.

You want to be fit so you can out run either a single zombie or an entire horde. We don’t tire so you have to be able to keep a good pace to avoid being a tasty meal for me and my friends. And being fit will definitely cut down on how much food you intake, saving more for later.

If you can out run us, you have a good chance of out living us.

Me, your hungry neighborhood Zombie

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Me, your hungry neighborhood Zombie

Hello, My name is Tyler. Most commonly known as Tyler the Zombie. I like long walks on the beach, especially when it involves a meal. My favorite meal is the big intestines, not the brains you stereotypical bastards. I’m great with kids, both undead and soon to be. And I REALLY hate this guy named Survivor Sam; he goes around, re-killing my new friends when they’re just trying to make a second living in this man eat man world, that’s all. They didn’t hurt anybody, except his loved ones… and everyone else. Okay, fine, but that wasn’t there fault, blame the virus, not the zombie.

My friend Paul

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My friend Paul

This is my good friend Paul. In his former life he wasn’t very fit so he didn’t stand much chance against my fellow zombies. He was chased out of a high school football game by a pack of other zombies and within not even half a mile he was caught and was gutted like a deer, plus some. Now-a-days, he spends his time in the second life shambling not far from his turning in the high school parking lot, chasing an animal every now and then, never catching them. Poor Paul, he needs a good living person to fill the hole in his gut, would you care to?